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'It's a comfort to have the choice'

26 February 2010 - The Times

Nicky Dalladay leans forward from the sofa to take the occasional sip of squash from a straw, using only her mouth. It is the only immediate sign of her severe multiple sclerosis, which in recent years has confined her to a wheelchair.

She is attended by her husband round the clock. The frustration explodes in bouts of temper and swearing, "because my life is not my own any more - it has been stolen from me", she says.

Mrs Dalladay, 47, and her husband, David, 61, of Loughton, Essex, have been together for 28 years. Once, their lives were hugely active: they both had City jobs and loved amateur dramatics, singing and dancing, hockey and travel. Now their days are circumscribed by her illness.

"A typical day is: Dave gets me out of bed, on to the glide-about chair to the bathroom, helps me go to the toilet and deals with every aspect of that, washes me, dresses me, then back on the chair, then into the stairlift ... the routine is endless and exhausting before we've even started the day," Mrs Dallaway says.

Her husband adds: "It can take two hours. If her body doesn't want to move, there's nothing you can do about it."

When the illness worsened about five years ago, he took early retirement and she gave up her job. She says that the deterioration in her health has made her think about the future. "I am of balanced mind and able to speak and to decide what I want. So we have discussed it. Dave found it difficult at first. It's not actually making a decision to die; but I believe I am entitled to lead a dignified life and equally to a dignified death."

The new guidelines from the Director of Public Prosecutions were a "great comfort". They would extend lives "because people will not have to act prematurely, knowing that they can be helped".

"I don't have a death wish," Mrs Dalladay says. "I just want the right to a dignified death, when I wish that to happen."

Author: The Times

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